Blank Stares
by Imagine.Create.Do
Summary: "I got ya babe. You'll be ok, baby. I promise." Tears pooled in his eyes as she said nothing, merely looking at him with a blank stare. Her hazel eyes that usually sparkled with warmth and mischief were now empty. His heart broke at the sight. Darry/OC
1. Chance Encounters

The cold January wind howled around the lone woman as she walked slowly down the snow-covered street. It tore at her ripped dress and whipped her long golden brown hair in her face. She staggered as a particularly strong gust caught her. She couldn't feel the cold anymore. She wasn't sure when she had quit shivering. In the deepest recesses of her mind, she knew that was wrong but her mind was too blank to be worried. Somewhere along the course of the night, her mind had shut down and only basic survival instinct kept her moving down the dark street.

She couldn't tell where she was. She didn't notice the blood freezing in her eye. She didn't even notice the small red print she left behind as she dragged her bare feet through the snow. All she saw was a light shining bright in the darkness. A beacon of hope, she headed for it. It was very slow going but she pushed herself forward. No sound escaped her lips. No tears coursed down her face. She was a blank slate.

Suddenly, a gate was in front of her and she could hear loud laughter and shouting. She braced a hand against the gate and tried to push it open but found all strength had left her. She was so tired. She was so numb and blank inside. She just wanted to sleep, right here, to sink into the soft falling snow and follow find sweet release in the welcoming dark. She sank to her knees with a soft keening noise that could barely be heard above the sound of the wind.

"Holy shit, Jasmine!" As if from underwater, she heard shouting growing louder. Her eyes struggled to make out the figures racing towards her. She knew them, with a knowledge from deep in her heart but she couldn't place them. One fell to his knees in front of her and she looked at him. _I know that face_, she thought as she felt herself being lifted from the snow. She lifted a hand to his face.

"-inside."

"-get warmed up."

"I've got a blanket!"

The voices of others flowed around her, though she couldn't understand what was being said. She merely stared up into the face of her savior. Her mind refused to give up what it knew. It was as if a switch had been turned off and no spark could reignite it.

"Darry…?" She whispered through bruised vocal cords. Green eyes full of emotions met hers.

"I got ya babe. You'll be ok, baby. I promise." Tears pooled in his eyes as she said nothing, merely looking at him with a blank stare. Her hazel eyes that usually sparkled with warmth and mischief were now empty. His heart broke at the sight.

* * *

***Six Months Earlier***

Ponyboy huddled in his desk chair, a tattered copy of _Hamlet_ open in front of him. Lost in Hamlet's descent into madness, he didn't notice someone sit beside him until they spoke.

"'This above all, to thine own self be true and it must follow as the day the night…'"

"'Thou canst not then be false to any man.' My favorite line." He finished as he looked over and felt his breath clog in his throat. A girl with long golden hair and warm hazel eyes smiled shyly at him. He didn't recognize her and figured she must be new. He took in her classy purple dress and black leather jacket. _A classy broad_, he thought.

"That's one of my favorite plays of Shakespeare. The tragic ending of a whole family because of greed is striking." She said. Pony nodded, amazed at finding someone to converse intelligently with.

"I'm Ponyboy." He said as he stuck out a hand.

"I'm Jasmine." She said quietly, eyeing his outstretched hand warily. He cocked his head.

"Something wrong." She shook her head quickly, making her hair ripple down her back.

"No, it's just… um… I don't like to be touched."

"Oh…" He said, hoping she would elaborate. When she didn't, he struck up a conversation about Hamlet and watched as she relaxed. Their conversation was interrupted by the start of their English class which was the last class of the day. Their conversation resumed as they walked down the halls. They stood on the sidewalk, in the midst of a heated debate about whether Hamlet was truly mad when a horn caught their attention.

"Pony! Let's go, kid!"

"Sorry, that's my brother, Soda. I'll see you tomorrow?" She agreed and they said their goodbyes.

"Who's the broad, Pone? She's fine." Pony ignored Soda and instead looked out the window at the passing scenery. Soda continued to ride him about his new girlfriend as the evening wore on. When Two-Bit and Steve showed up later, they jumped on the band wagon. By the time Darry got home from work, Pony had locked himself in his room, claiming he needed to do homework.

"I'm sure your girlfriend could give you a hand!" Two-Bit yelled after him, laughing hysterically. Darry raised a single brow as the door slammed behind him.

"Did I miss something?" Darry asked. Two-Bit was only too happy to fill him in on the joke. Darry smiled, thinking it was good that Pony had finally found someone.

A month later found Pony and Jasmine paired for a project. Their English class was studying folklore. The project was to pick a certain aspect of folklore and create a presentation about it. As they were packing up, Pony asked if she wanted to go back to his house to work on it. She agreed. On the walk home, they talked of everything that came to mind. Pony shocked himself by telling her about Johnny's and Dally's deaths two years ago.

"I'm sorry that happened, Pony. I lost my mom a year ago. I moved in with my aunt over on Fisher Street over the summer."

"I didn't know you live on Fisher. That's only two streets over from me." It wasn't long before the Curtis house was in sight. Pony groaned when he saw the truck parked in the yard.

"What's wrong?"

"My brothers are home. And if their home, you can just bet Steve and Two-Bit are there too!" He groaned again when he heard loud shouting, missing how quiet Jasmine had become. She stayed a step behind him as she entered the house. The room was messy and she heard the sound of Mickey Mouse playing. Two men were on the floor wrestling. One had the other caught in a headlock.

"Say uncle! Say it!"

"Never!" He tightened his hold until finally he heard a choked uncle. Releasing the loser, he bounded to his feet and whooped when he saw Ponyboy and Jasmine.

"Pony! Kiddo! You've brought your girlfriend." Jasmine flinched when Soda flung out his arms to pull her into a hug. Pony quickly stepped in front of her to block him.

"Sorry, Soda, she doesn't like to be touched. Jasmine, this is my brother Sodapop. My eldest brother, Darry. On the couch is Soda's buddy Steve and the loser on the floor is Two-Bit. Guys, this is Jasmine. We're partners for an English project." She smiled shyly at each of them in turn but felt her gaze pulled back to Darry. He stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face.

"We can study in the kitchen." Pony led her out of the room, trying to ignore the stares from four sets of eyes.

"Damn, Soda, you were right. She is one classy looking broad." Steve said as he let out a low whistle. Darry found himself agreeing. He adjusted in his chair, trying to relieve the pressure that he felt in his suddenly too-tight pants.


	2. Counting Stars

"Ok, Pixie, what are we going to do?"

"Don't call me that!" Jasmine huffed for what seemed like the millionth time. After half an hour of intense debate, they had decided to do their project on pixies which were fairy-like creatures that were mischievous pranksters. They were all very small. While flipping through a book, he had come across a drawing of a small, blonde-haired pixie.

"Hey, she looks like you!" Ever since that moment, Pony had started calling her Pixie.

"Why cant I call you Pixie? Their tiny. You're tiny. It fits." Jasmine rolled her eyes and lightly smacked his arm with the book in her hands. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Darry watching, laughing into his arm.

"I'm only a few inches shorter than you, Ponyboy Curtis!" As they worked, Darry came into to start dinner. By the time, he had it finished, they had decided on writing a short play about pixies. When Jasmine noticed Darry getting out plates, she jumped up to help. He waved her away and called the others in. Nervously, she sat between Ponyboy and Two-Bit. She tried to make herself as small as possible as the hood beside her waved his hands wildly.

"So there I am, right? Looking at the principal and I says to the guy Hey! I thought she asked for an opinion on her ass! I didn't know she said get to class!" Jasmine giggled as he finished his story. He sent her a wink, making her blush.

"You're cute when you blush, Pixie." She blushed harder at Two-Bit's words. Apparently, they had all agreed with Pony's opinion.

"So Pixie, how are you liking Tulsa so far?" Jasmine thought her face was going to catch fire at being addressed, especially when the man in question was the one she had been thinking about the whole time she had been in the kitchen. She stared at her plate.

"It's been nice so far." Darry frowned as he watched her push around her food. Had he even seen her take a bite? Her plate looked untouched.

"Well, it sure didn't take you long to hook up with Ponyboy." Now it was youngest greaser's turn to blush.

"Shuddup, Randall!" Pony shouted, blushing bright red. Darry glanced at Jasmine who sat quietly, wanting to see her reaction. She caught his glance and quickly looked away, a small smile on her face. She looked at the clock.

"I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow Pony?" They all looked at her.

"You can't walk out there! It's dark!" Jasmine shrugged. She was used to walking in a neighborhood far worse than this one but she wasn't going to mention that. Pony turned to Darry.

"Can you give drive us?" Darry rubbed his face with one hand. He didn't want to go driving all over creation dropping off his youngest brother's girlfriend. He damn sure didn't want to watch Pony kiss her while he had just been sitting in the living room imagining that same thing.

"I'll take ya squirt. I'm headed to Buck's." Two-Bit said as he stood. Darry sighed in relief.

"Thanks, Bit. Help clean first, than you can go." He said, rising to clear the plates. Pony sighed and nodded.

"Can I help?" Jasmine asked but found herself once again waved off. She shrugged and walked into the living room to get her things. Soda and Steve had taken up wrestling again. Steve had him pinned when Soda reached up to muss up his hair. Steve released him with a yell.

"Bastard!" Taking his chance, Soda jumped up. Steve grabbed him by his ankle making him trip into Jasmine. They fell to the floor with a loud bang, Soda on top. Jasmine felt the familiar panic rising through her at the feel of another body pressed against her. Frantically, she pushed at Soda, even kicking at him to get him off. When he was clear, she raced out of the door, leaving three bewildered greasers behind her.

"What the hell happened?" Pony shouted.

"We were just playing, Pone! I tripped and fell on her. I didn't know she would react that way." Pony scooped up her bag.

"I told you! She doesn't like to be touched! Cant you listen?" Ignoring his brother's attempts to answer, he raced after her.

"Jasmine! Wait up! Jasmine!" He caught up with her by the vacant lot. He reached out a hand and grabbed her shoulder. He was unprepared when she swung around and slapped him full in the face.

"Oh my god! Ponyboy! I'm so sorry!" She knelt beside where he was sprawled on the ground.

"Damn, girl. Nice swing." She gave a watery chuckle before bursting into tears again. Pony lifted his hand to comfort her then lowered it. He waited until she finished.

"Wanna talk about it?" She sniffed.

"Do I have a choice?" He smiled.

"Course, but just know. I can be very persuasive." She sighed. Jasmine laid back beside him and stared up at the stars.

"I'll tell you a secret in return." She turned to grin at him.

"What secret could you possibly have?" Pony blushed, thankful for the darkness.

"I'm gay, Jasmine. Johnny and I, we were together when he died. We kept it a secret but we were in love." She was quiet for a moment. He grew nervous.

"That's ok, Pony. If it makes you happy, I support you." They were quiet for a long time. Ponyboy lit a cigarette and blew out the smoke. He was patient. It had taken a lot of patience to get Johnny to open up. He placed and arm behind his hand, letting his mind wander back in time to the times when he and Johnny would sit in the lot and dream out loud. He stilled when he heard her speak.

"My mother was murdered, Pony, nearly a year ago. I was there when it happened. My mother wasn't the nicest person. In fact she hated me. Blamed me for everything. She was constantly out of work with a new boyfriend every time you turn around. They never lasted long and with each new guy it seemed that she hated me more and more. She definitely got more violent." Pony laid still, barely breathing. He stared at the sky but didn't see the stars.

"When I was nine, I was attacked by her boyfriend, a guy named Henry. When it was over, I told her about it. She beat me, saying that it was all my fought. That I was nothing but a slut. I was nine! I didn't even know what sex was, for crying out loud! The second time happened when I was thirteen. It was the same story with mom."

"She even said that I was jealous of her. That I purposely slept with her man as payback. The last time, was the day she died. I was barely seventeen. I came home from school and Larry was sitting on the couch, drunk. Mom was gone. He pushed me onto the couch. I fought him- god I fought him with everything I had but he was just so heavy." Pony felt tears slip down his face but he made no move, wanting her to finish while wanting her to stop.

"Mom showed up right after he finished. She saw me on the couch with my skirt pulled up and him standing with his pants undone. She lit into me. Managed to cut me good. Then she turned and lit into Larry. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. They were going after each other pretty good. When the gun went off, I knew she was dead. I called the cops. When they showed up, they tried to help but I fought them so viciously that I knocked myself out. Woke up two days later in the hospital." She sat up and leaned over Pony.

"I haven't touched anyone since than Pony. I cant stand the feel of another's touch without thinking of them. They never caught him, Pony. Even in death, my bitch of a mother has ruined my life."


	3. Confessions

**I dont own anything! **

It took a while for things to settle down and get back to what passed for normal in the Curtis household. Soda had tried to get Pony to talk about what happened but Pony dodged him. It wasn't his secret to tell he told him. Jasmine continued to come over, even though they had finished their project. The two could usually be found sitting at the kitchen discussing some vague author like Hawthorne. Once they had even had an all-out fight about whether Jack Kerouac or Hunter S. Thompson was the more influential outlaw writer.

It was moments like this that Darry hated the most as he watched her fling her hands about to emphasize her point. Her hair tossing about in the heat of her passion as she exclaimed that Kerouac was too romantic. He found himself watching her more and more, unable to pull his eyes away from her. Something about the young 17 year old called out to him. He yearned to unlock the secrets he saw in her eyes. To take her in his arms and erase all her pain.

Knowing how rough and tumble his gang was, he took it upon himself to keep the others in line. Whatever the reason she had for not wanting to be touched, he wouldn't allow another episode. So he kept watch, once having to knock Two-Bit's arm away when he got too excited one night. After dinner, when they sat by the TV, Jasmine would sit on the floor beside his chair, close enough that he could feel her warmth through his jeans. It took all his control not to reach down and yank her into his lap and hold her tight.

But then he would watch as she giggled at something his brother- _his youngest brother!_- said and he felt like throwing himself in traffic. How could he do this to his brother? Pony, who had been through so much and now had a chance at happiness, not knowing that his oldest brother, his guardian, was lusting after it. Dreaming of ways to lure her away.

So he started working later, trying to avoid the house and more specifically, Jasmine. He pushed himself until he was ready to drop from exhaustion and he was too tired to think of anything. Then he would come home and see her sitting in the living room watching a movie with Pony and it would all rush back.

It was late one day, when he drug himself into the house. He was surprised that the house was so silent. He picked up a stack of mail and crossed to the kitchen where he found a covered plate of food sitting on the table. It was still warm. Smiling at the thoughtfulness of his brothers, he tucked in to the fried chicken and mashed potatoes. He gave a groan of appreciation then jumped when he heard Pony's voice.

"Jasmine made it. Good aint it?"

"Why? Where is everyone?" Pony sat beside him.

"Steve and Soda went to a party. Two-Bit had to go home to watch Sarah. Since all I know how to cook is eggs, Jasmine cooked. She's not a big fan of breakfast food. She left when Two-Bit did, so we weren't alone." Darry stayed silent, focusing instead on the mail. Pony swallowed.

"Darry? Are you mad at me?" Darry looked up, shocked.

"Why would say that, little buddy?" Pony looked down at his hands.

"Ever since that night I chased after Jasmine, you've been avoiding the house. I thought, maybe you were mad at me." Darry shook his head and grabbed Pony's hand.

"No, Pony. I've just been working more."

"But why? I thought after Johnny- I thought we were better."

"We are better buddy. You're my brother and I'll do anything for you."

"Even avoid the house because you like Jasmine?" Darry froze.

"What do you mean?" Pony rolled his eyes.

"It's obvious, Dar. The way you watch her. How protective you are of her." Darry blushed. He thought no one had noticed.

"You probably hate me." Darry said as he dropped his hand.

"How could I hate you, Darry? Hell, everyone in this house has a slight crush on her. If I was straight, than I would too. Maybe then I would hate you." Darry froze and gaped at what Pony had just said. Realizing what he had let slip, Pony paled.

"Oh god, Darry. I'm sorry. Don't hate me!" At the sound of fear in his voice, Darry snapped back. Seeing his brother near tears, he scooped him onto his lap and rocked him.

"Ponyboy Michael Curtis, I promise I could never hate you. You are my baby brother." Pony sniffed in his chest.

"Promise?" He sounded so much like a little scared kid, Darry hugged him tighter. Pony clung to him. They sat that way in silence for a moment than Pony stood. Darry stared up at him. His baby brother was growing up. He was no longer the small skinny boy he had been when Johnny and Dallas had been killed. Now he stood as tall as Darry himself and his muscles had filled out. No, his baby brother wasn't a baby anymore.

"Are we cool?" Pony asked quietly. Darry smiled.

"Yea, we cool, Pone. Why don't you go to bed? School tomorrow." Pony nodded. He hesitated before giving Darry another hug.

"You'd be good for her, you know? She really needs someone like you." He said. Darry stayed where he was, thinking over what Pony had just said. His thoughts were in turmoil. Relief that he hadn't been lusting after his brother's girlfriend after all. Shock at Pony's announcement. Happiness that he may have a chance with Jasmine. Fear that he would mess it all up.

He was still trying to figure it out when he laid down to sleep. A picture of Jasmine slipped into his head, making him harden. He groaned. He tried to ignore it. After a moment, he wrapped his hand around himself and started to stroke himself, picturing Jasmine's face as he thrust into her over and over. He came after just a few strokes. Cursing, he cleaned himself up and laid back down. It was going to be another long night.


	4. Changing Tides

Jasmine was deep in thought as she walked to Pony's house after school. Ever since meeting the young Curtis boy, her life had changed. She had someone to talk to about things and she found that the other members were just as accepting of her. She had no doubt that Pony hadn't told anyone her secret but she found that the more time spent with them, the more she came to believe that it wouldn't be such a bad thing if they knew. The guys had made her feel like a part of the gang. She had never felt so accepted in her life. The only thing that kept her from spilling it was Darry.

Jasmine had never in her life allowed herself to fall for anyone. The potential to get hurt was too high. But the eldest Curtis had somehow slipped through her defenses. He was so protective of her, making sure she ate and keeping the others from accidentally touching her. He even made an effort to join the two high schoolers in what Pony called 'Literary Debates.' She had been surprised to find him almost as knowledgeable as Ponyboy. The feelings Darry arose in her thrilled her even as it confused her. What would he say if he knew what had happened to her? Would he still care for her? Would any of them? Or would they think the same way her mother did?

The thought of the five men thinking she had asked for it made her stomach churn.

Her heart gave a small leapt at the sight of the truck sitting in the driveway. Trying to calm her racing heart, she crossed the porch and knocked on the door. It opened to reveal a sleepy and shirtless Darry. Her mouth went dry as she tried not to stare as she followed him into the house.

"Hey, Pixie." She rolled her eyes. Damn Ponyboy and his stupid nicknames, she thought.

"Is Pony here?" she asked, covertly eyeing the way his muscled bunched as he pulled on a shirt.

"He should be here soon. Track ended about thirty minutes ago. You know you don't have to knock. Just come in." Jasmine nodded. Silence lapped as the two struggled to think of something to say.

"Pony said he talked to you last night." Darry nodded and scrubbed a hand across his face.

"Yea, he threw me for a loop, that's for sure. I should have known. It was fairly obvious, now that I think about it. He's going to talk to Soda about it tonight."

"He said it'll be easier to tell Soda now that you know. He was most afraid of what you would say. He thought you would hate him." Darry sighed, looking so old and weary. Jasmine wanted to reach out to comfort him but the fear of being touched kept her back.

"Two years ago, I might have. I won't lie, Pixie, I did resent him. I love him-don't get me wrong- but a small part of me resented him. I tried to hide it but I guess it came out anyways. Part of me feels responsible for all that happened to him. And Dally and Johnny. All because I resented the fact that I had to drop out of college to take care of him." His voice cracked and he coughed and turned his head to hide the tears in his eyes. He jumped when he felt a small hand on his arm. He turned, shocked to see Jasmine so close to him.

"Darry, I haven't known you guys for very long and I didn't know Johnny or Dally but from what I've been told, you have been the best brother and care-giver to both Soda and Ponyboy. Both of them think the world of you and I know that Pony is determined to make you so proud him. No one holds you responsible. I'm sure Johnny and Dally don't either." He stared down at her hand.

"How do you know?" Jasmine grinned.

"Cause I'm a great listener."

"Yea, you are." They stared at each other, eyes wide and hearts racing. Slowly, he placed a hand on hers. She flinched but didn't pull away. His hand felt warm on top of hers. Carefully, she turned palm up. His hand engulfed hers, making her notice for the first time just how much bigger he was than her. She was surprised to find that the knowledge didn't scare her. She raised hazel eyes to meet his emerald green ones. They swirled with so many emotions it made Jasmine gulp.

"Thank you, Jasmine."

"God damn fuckers!" They sprang apart as they heard Ponyboy's voice on the porch before he stormed into the house. Seething with anger, he didn't notice the intimacy of the scene he had just intruded upon. One side of his head was bleeding and the beginnings of a bruise was forming on his cheek.

"Pony! What happened to your face?" The couple on the couch raced to his side, leading him to the kitchen. Darry pushed him into a chair, yanking up his chin to look at the damage. Jasmine grabbed a cloth and wetted it. She shooed Darry away before going to work cleaning the bits of gravel from the cut.

"I got jumped on the way home. A couple guys from school. They say me talking to this guy after practice." Darry watched as Jasmine gently ran her fingers through Pony's auburn hair to check for knots. His heart swelled with love for the pair of them.

"Why would that get you jumped?" Pony shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He mumbled something.

"I didn't catch that, Pony." Pony cleared his throat.

"I said he was gay, ok?" As his anger and embarrassment faded, he began to notice that Jasmine was touching him. Shocked, he looked over at his brother and was confused when he saw a soft unexplainable smile on Darry's face. He held himself still, so not to frighten her into pulling away.

"Anyone home?" The door slammed making Darry roll his eyes.

"In here, Pepsi!" Soda entered the kitchen followed closely by Steve. He stared as he took in the sight of his brother with blood on his face. Jasmine stepped away, declaring him alive.

"What the hell happened to you?" Pony groaned, turning pleading eyes towards Darry, who shook his head.

"You've gotta tell him sometime little buddy."

"Tell me what?" Pony sighed than launched into an explanation of what happened and ending with his big announcement. To his surprise, Soda laughed.

"Steve and I caught you and Johnny one night in the vacant lot. It was a hell of a shock but I figured you'd come to me about it. Than all…that went down." There was a short pause as all four reflected on the events of two years ago. Shaking his head, Pony swallowed, eyes tracing the grain of the table.

"So you're ok with it? What about you, Steve?"

"Pone, we are all ok with it. Even Two-Bit. Though how he's managed not to rag you til now is beyond me." Steve said as he sat at the table. The four boys were so intent on their conversation that they had failed to notice Jasmine cooking. Steve jumped when he felt her hand touch his shoulder before a bowl of soup was set in front of him. He thanked her and watched silently as she served the others, noting how she gave each one a small touch as if testing for something. The four boys exchanged glances that promised a long talk.


End file.
